When I entered the Amethyst program in January 2023, I came directly from a correctional institution. I had lost custody of my children. Somehow, I brought every ounce of hope and determination with me! I was focused and knew what I wanted. I kept my eye on the prize: sobriety, a new life, and being a mother to my children. I am voluntarily taking one class a week now until I graduate in June. I am no longer running from everything. I feel comfortable and safe in my own being.
Before I entered the Alvis recovery program, I was trapped—trapped by substance abuse and the life it promoted. I never knew any other kind of existence was open to me. I didn’t experience the security of a good family and grew up with drugs all around me. I was very negative, stuck in survival mode, and didn’t see any possibilities that might be open to me. I couldn’t envision a life with joy, happiness, or with my children. Now, I am aware of the positive things happening around me and see my life so differently. My eyes are open. I have a sense of freedom that I never knew was possible.
Amethyst gave me stability, taught me how to hold myself accountable for my actions, helped me grow as a person, confront the trauma I had gone through, and develop coping skills. Before coming to Amethyst, I kept running back to drugs and depended on them to erase the trauma of my earlier life.
Once in recovery, I had the opportunity to envision myself being sober and something more than a drug addict. My brother had turned his life around six years earlier and was sober, living with his wife and children. He was my role model. We spend a lot of time together with my brother and his family.
I put all the energy I had into changing my life. I felt the need to change. I wanted something more out of life.
What I have now is still surprising to me. It makes me laugh and smile endlessly. Being a mother to my three children is the most amazing feeling. I love having a family life and having the children love me. They tell me all the time how proud they are of me and that I am doing a good job. It makes me so happy, because life was not easy for them earlier. When I was incarcerated, they moved so many times—either being in foster care or with an unstable family member. I am thankful they are doing so well. I marvel at that, considering all the obstacles they faced.
Now, I am no longer plagued by living life in survival mode. I am so grateful! It feels amazing having my own home. Driving into my driveway after a day at work, I feel so accomplished. I work at Sonic during the week and clean houses on the weekend. The kids each have their own room, and I love making dinner every day in my kitchen.
I try to tell other women in the program to stick with it, give it their all, and never again surround themselves with toxic people or situations. Yes, it was hard getting to where I am today, but each day it becomes easier and easier. Now, when I look in the mirror, I see a strong, independent woman who has overcome some really hard battles. I don’t see that drug addict anymore—the one who was going nowhere in life.
Written by Ashley S.
